Keeping Vigil
It is late night as I write this, sitting in Harvey’s ICU room. Harvey is sleeping his induced coma. I think he can still hear me sometimes when I talk to him, but perhaps I am just imagining it for my own consolation. I wonder what dreams he is dreaming as I keep vigil in his room, waiting and worrying about what new crisis the next hour, the next day may bring.
Writing is a form of catharsis for me, a way to clarify my own thoughts. I come from a small family, and both Harvey and I are first generation immigrants with all the emotional loneliness it implies. I want you to know your feedback gives me immense solace. What nature did not do for me, Harvey seems to have corrected by way of our very extended CLL family. I have not met most of you - but we walk down the same paths and that is enough for kinship of the heart.
Dangerous Waters
Harvey is swimming in dangerous waters, alligators to the right of him and alligators to the left of him. Making therapy decisions is very hard when there are so many conflicting needs and risks.
Harvey’s latest medical crisis has been diagnosed as ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome). Think of it as your lungs turning into a bloody mess so that it becomes a challenge just to get enough oxygen into your body. Some of you may remember the SARS epidemic scare a few years back. In that case, the viral infection attacked lung tissue and in advanced cases lead to ARDS. But it is not necessary to have a pathogen such as SARS to cause lung damage. It can happen as a result of autoimmune disease as well, the body attacking itself. So far, we have not identified any pathogen causing the lung damage in Harvey, the assumption is that the damage has been caused by sudden and devastating inflammatory cytokine storm that pulped his lung tissue. In otherwise perfectly healthy young people ARDS carries a mortality risk of 30-50%. I am sure you can imagine how much more scary that percentage becomes in the context of a newly transplanted patient.
Plugging the Holes
For a while, Harvey was losing blood so fast that we were not sure we could replace it fast enough to keep his blood pressure from sinking too much. We now seemed to have turned that corner, almost continuous infusions of plasma, platelets and red blood cells have patched most if not all the leaking holes. Hemoglobin, RBC and platelet counts have stabilized. The ventilator with its enriched oxygen content is keeping the oxygenation level in decent shape. But that is just the start. It will take time for the damaged lung tissue to heal. Until that happens, he will have to have ventilator assistance just to breathe. The question boils down to this: will he get that time? Will he be able to dodge all the other alligators in the water long enough for his lungs to heal?
Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea
Harvey is on massive doses of methylprednisolone in an attempt to halt the inflammatory spiral that got so dangerous so quickly. What initiated the process? No one knows for sure and there is not much point in speculating right now. Steroids are good at controlling most forms of inflammation. But they are also dangerous in suppressing the body’s ability to fight infections.
That brings us to the second big alligator trolling in the water: uncontrollable infections in a deeply immune compromised host. During times of deep inflammation the body’s first line defenders (neutrophils, macrophages) rush to the site of the inflammation and throw themselves into the fight - often making things worse by shooting off their weapons in random manner, causing even more tissue damage. A close analogy of this process is “keystone cops”, killing friends because they cannot tell the difference between friend and foe.
This misguided zeal of neutrophils is also suicidal - white blood cells die in droves as they exhaust themselves fighting an enemy that they cannot identify. Plugging the holes has stabilized the red blood and platelet parameters. Restoring the white blood counts to healthy levels is not that easy, since it is not possible to give white blood cell transfusions.
GCSF (Neupogen, Neulasta etc) shots are routinely used to goose white blood cell production. But did you know that GCSF (and its sister growth factor GMCSF) are quite inflammatory in themselves? How much GCSF shots can we give Harvey in an attempt to speed up the recovery of white blood cells, before the old inflammatory cascade gets out of control once again? Can we afford not to give him GCSF, if that means longer to neutrophil recovery? Will he survive the inevitable infection that will come by sooner of later, if he has no fighting troops? How much steroidal drugs can we give him to keep a lid on the risk of renewed inflammatory cascade, before we cross over the line in ability to fight infections? We are in a damned-if-we-do-and-damned-if-we-don’t mode here.
“Slim” is Still Alive
We did get one piece of good news. A bone marrow biopsy done earlier in the week shows the graft is still around and doing OK! “Seattle Slim” is one tough kid, he is still 100% in charge in the bone marrow, still trying to produce cell lines in these trying times. Comparison of most recent PET scan with one done a month ago shows GVL happening at a good clip, CLL remnants in full retreat. Way to go kid. May you live long, and may you help bring Harvey back to health.
Crisis Overdose
I oscillate between hope - forlorn though it may be, and unmitigated terror and grief as I contemplate the future. Maybe my best friend will beat the odds, dodge the double alligators of uncontrollable infections / inflammation - along with all the other smaller beasts such as kidney overload, liver toxicity etc. But maybe his lungs won’t get enough time to heal and he won’t ever be woken from the induced coma - what is the point of waking him up, just so he can experience the terror and pain of slow suffocation?
I wanted to spend a life time with my buddy. But on Thursday afternoon I would have settled for even just a couple of minutes together before he had to go into his present long sleep. There were so many people milling around in Harvey’s room in those frantic hours as they tried to intubate him, stabilize the bleeding and get him into ICU. I barely had time to explain to Harvey what needed to be done, and for him to scrawl “Agreed” on a piece of paper - he could not talk - and that was that. Now I sit here watching over him as he dreams away the hours, remote in his coma. Tomorrow will be here soon. Another day, another crisis - I will keep my vigil for as long as it takes, as long as he has a chance.
Be well,
Chaya
57 comments on "Knee Deep In Alligators"
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackI am grateful for you update. I didn’t expect to see one so soon but I just had to check one more time before I went to bed.
I have been thinking about you both and your family all day. A few hours ago I said to Kevin, “These people are like extended family”. (Just like you said).
I have e-mailed many others to pray for PC and you.
Your love for each other is so beautiful. In fact, I think it is so big that you just spills over to a whole lot of people.
Even though these descriptions of this hard stuff seems so painful it is a comfort to understand more about what happened, your moments together before his long sleep, etc. I am glad it is therapeutic for you to write.
Go Seattle Slim! I am grateful for this good news.
I pray for God’s peace and comfort to you and healing for PC.
With care,
Liz W.
St. Paul, MN
Chaya,
Every hour that passes, the more likely Harvey is to turn the corner from his ARDS. In the flu epidemic of 1918, the highest death rates was in young healthy adults not because of the flu infection itself, but due to their powerful over zealous immune response (what we now call ARDS) damaging the lungs. Most of those who didn’t make it, died in the first few days. In Harvey’s case this immune attack should also be short lived and calmed by the steroids. It is still a scary and most dangerous time (especially for infection) with no certainties, but I am more optimistic today. I am seeing a path out of this mess. ICU docs are very good at balancing this stuff and our bodies are programmed to heal.
See you both post-leukemia.
Consider getting some sleep if you can. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Much love to you both
Brian (still going for my transplant in 9 days)
Chaya,
I have been praying off and on all day for you and P.C.
Glad to hear a bit of good news and a glimmer of hope!That is what keeps us going….Hope..Hope and Love and of course FAITH!!
Thoughts and Prayers,
Deb
http://www.cllcfriends.com
Chaya, i am following every step with you and PC. Your ability to communicate what is happening in the moment is amazing as it is eloquent, filled with wisdom and tenderness. Hope makes us human, keeps our spirit alive and moves us down the river. Our strength and your strength will see this through, come what may. Please keep writing, we are all here. NCD
Chaya,
You have so eloquently described the most difficult of situations. Thank you for updating us so soon. PC has a world of worrying friends.
We are thrilled to hear that Slim is still alive and doing well. And that PC’s condition has been diagnosed and appears to be stabilizing. Dr. Brian’s analysis offers further hope that one day at a time and one step at a time PC will work his way out of the alligator-infested waters. A 30-50% risk of mortality means a 50-70% chance of survival.
We would not be surprised if PC knew on some level that you are there by his side. We hope you can get some rest, maybe a little sleep near your dear buddy.
There is a world of people by your side tonight, too. You can’t imagine how much you and PC mean to us, those who have met you and those who know you from afar. When it comes to CLL we all arrive as lonely travelers, strangers in a strange land. You have done so much to hold our hands and lift us up. Our hands are there for you tonight, from every corner of the globe.
Much love,
David & Marilyn
Chaya, thank you for posting. You and PC have been on my mind all day. I hope that each day to come brings improvement for PC. If I were in your shoes I would talk to PC as much and as often as you like. Even though he can’t respond, I would not doubt that he hears you. You are both in my thoughts and prayers. Barbara
You and Harvey are indeed now part of a very large extended family. We want you to think of our arms reaching all the way from wherever we are, to hold both of you close-you are not in this alone. On some level Harvey does hear you and it has to be very comforting and encouraging to know that you are with him every step of the way. The “kid” is probably doting on the words of praise you wrote about his fine job done so far-100% in charge and CLL remnants on the run!! Such good news! You are always in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Betty
I woke up at 5:15 a.m. thinking about Harvey and had to get up to check the computer to see how he is doing.
Chaya, we are a nation of immigrants. Don’t feel lonely.
Burke Chester
Chaya-
Just a side note about PC’s coma. I was once, after giving birth and a spinal tap gone bad, in a so called “coma”. I couldn’t move or talk or do anything at all, but I could hear everything. I heard the nurse’s ordering a pizza for dinner with all the toppings. I heard my Dr. tell Tom to go eat dinner as I was going to be “out” for quite a while. My Blood pressure was so low and wouldn’t come back up. I was screaming inside for Tom not to leave me, but he had no idea that I was hearing it all. One nurse kept coming over to me and putting warm blankets on me. I don’t know how she knew that I was so cold. She would lean over and whisper in my ear, “I know you can hear me. Just know that I know.” I can’t tell you the comfort it gave me to hear her say that.
When I finally awoke, I told the nurses that I could hear the whole time. They laughed and said, “We doubt it. Your counts were barely hanging on.” Then I repeated what they ordered for dinner and what the Dr. said to Tom and the one nurse who repeatedly kept refreshing a warm blanket on me.” They were all stunned. I tell this story to people who are in this situation because I don’t hope that PC can hear you and know you are there. I KNOW HE CAN. Tell him you know he can hear you.
love,
Jenny Lou
Chaya, I’m so glad to hear PC has stablized. Now hopefully, the slow improvemnt process will start. You words were very touching….we are one CLL family now and we are praying for a quick recovery.
Chaya,
CLLtopics was my lifeline during the dark days after my CLL diagnosis. My prayers are with you and PC.
PC knows that you are right there beside him. He can hear you, so whisper positive thoughts about love & getting through this, so that you can be back together in Sedona. Please get some rest as well. It is so important that you take care of yourself as well.
Thank you for letting us know how things were going. We have been checking every few hours to see if there was an update. You & PC have done so very much for the CLL community in helping us to understand the disease in layman’s terms. We have our arms together in a giant hug for both of you - together we will help to pull him through!
Love,
Anne & Alan
My first thoughts on waking were also of PC. I wish that the sadness and worry I feel could share the load for you Chaya.
Chaya, Jenny Lou is right. When Tony was in his coma, the doctors and nurses told me they can hear you even if they can’t respond. I know what you are going through and know how very difficult this is. Please know that your extended family sends you so much love, hugs, and prayers for a miracle. They CAN & DO happen every day. Thank you for updating us. You are one special lady.
Much of what Dr. Koffman says about ARDS is absolutely true, though the alligators and sharks remain ever present.
I have noted on many occasions how those in coma who recover do manifest an awareness (on varied levels) of the experience and of those around them, so I would encourage you to maintain your vigil and to tell your husband whatever you feel is appropriate…hopefully it will make you both feel a bit better.
You have both been challenged on numerous levels throughout this ordeal, and it appears that those challenges are going to persist for the time being. As I said before, “May the Lord shine His light upon you both and upon all of those who love you.”
DWCLL
Dear Chaya,
I genuinely believe that PC is getting strength from your devotion. Since he may well be able to hear you, it would help him to know that Seattle Slim is strong, and that his docs are doing all the right things to get him through this tough road. Knowing you are right there has just got to give him comfort.
To echo others, you held my hand when I was first diagnosed, and it was such a dark time for me. So many docs had misdiagnosed, and I was so very ill and hospitalized. When I found your website, the light started to come through. Yes, we are family. And as family, we are praying fiercely for PC and for you.
May your strength give PC strength. I pray that you and PC soon experience the joy of good health. Those “Alligators” cannot hold a candle to you and PC.
Chaya,
Although we have never met, our entire family and so many friends feel so closely bonded to you and PC. After my diagnosis 3 years ago- cll topics ( with your warm, professional approach) comforted us all and continues to do so. We are from Seattle- and you have a large group of friends from afar that are praying for you and your family.
Chris and family and friends.
Chaya,
I am so thankful to see your post today and to know that PC is hanging on. Your writing is amazing during this scary time, thank you for keeping all of us in the loop so we can effectively pray for you both. We can’t imagine what you must be feeling but know that we are all here for both of you and our arms are wrapped around you. Maybe it’s a good thing we are located all over the world because I can only imagine the noise PC would hear if we were all there with you at his side physically! Just know we are definitely all there with you at his side in love and prayer.
Get some rest if you can and keep up the hope. PC is one tough cookie and he might just surprise all of us!
With much love and hope,
Denyse and Joe
Dear Chaya,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and PC.
Love and Blessings,
Rita
Chaya,
May your love be the medicine that brings Harvey back. Both of you are guiding lights for the rest of us. Your devotion and love is felt all the way here in California so we know Harvey hears it and feels it to. Stay strong!
Chaya,
We continue to be thankful that you are sharing your experience with us even in this critical time-We feel a strong bond with both you and PC-We continue to send our prayers and positive thoughts your way!
You have helped me and hundreds of others so very much over the years, more than you can possibly know. I am fervently praying for both of you during this very difficult time as are many, many others.
Chaya,
I woke this morning thinking of you two and then checked the website and found PC’s turn for the worse. I have never corresponded before, but the both of you have helped and inspired me more than you can ever know since my diagnosis 6 months ago with your wisdom and your courage. We are all thinking and praying for PC. Bless you both.
I also checked your site last thing before going to bed and first thing this morning. Slight relief reading that things are stable. It is hard to explain to the “actual” people around me why I was so upset about events happening to people I only know of thru cyberspace. So I didn’t try, they just had to put up with my irritability and long gazes in the direction of Minnesota yesterday. But you need to know that even though we’ve never met, what happens to you and PC is important for a million different reasons, some selfish but most empathetic. I’m hoping and hoping that this story has a happy ending and that we’ll be reading about “Harvey’s” 100th, 200th, 300th day PT. Doug.
I’m so glad to hear PC has stabilized, Chaya! Continuing to pray for you both. Sally
My God be with you both. We feel as if we know you as have lived with your web site for the last three years since Ken was diagnosed. It has helped so much to learn about the disease from others who are living through it. We pray that God will be with you through these tough times. As others have said keep talking as hearing is there if not through actual voice through vibes.
You both are in our prayers. Beautiful Sedona is waiting for you both to return even though the temps here in Sun City reached 115 yesterday and again today.
Thank you for the updates. Your strength is inspiring.
Dear Chaya
What an incredible person you are - to be sharing such an emotional roller coaster with us all - may your strength give PC the strength to fight and get through these trying times.
Dear Chaya,
You have my many tears and my prayers. I had been away with my family and just returned. I am so sorry to hear what is happening. I know what you’re going through and wish with all my heart there was something I could do for you. Where there is life there is hope. Stay strong my friend and know that you are loved.
Keeping On,
Chaya,
Before I became a CLL patient, I worked as an RN in a level 1 trauma center. so I am familiar with all of the complications Harvey is experiencing. Clearly, you understand the gravity of his condition.
I would like to offer you a couple of bits of hope. The fact that his bleeding has stopped and his BP has stabilized is a huge step for his recovery. Also, despite ARDS, he is being adequately oxygenated. Ventilatory support is not always able to overcome the damages associated with ARDS. So the fact that this has been accomplished is another positive sign.
I’ve sat with many family members who faced what you are facing now. One piece of guidance I always provide is that families gauge progress over a longer period of time than yesterday or the day before. Harvey’s recovery will occur slowly. When you look to gauge Harvey’s progress, don’t compare today to yesterday, rather, ask if Harvey is better today than he was 5 or seven days earlier.
You are facing a difficult road, but the two of you have tremendous wells of strength to draw from. Plus, you have the prayers and healing intentions of thousands in the world-wide CLL community.
The ICU nurse in me has to ask a few questions about Harvey’s care. Does the ICU follow the IHI Ventilator bundle? The bundle is an evidence based series of practices whose aim is to reduce ventilator associated pneumonias and shorten the time ventilatory support is needed. Is Harvey receiving any nutrition? Often, this important component is overlooked in the effort to stabilize someone as ill as Harvey. Nevertheless, receiving even small amounts of nutrition through a feeding tube can prevent other inflammatory based complications. Is Harvey receiving PT? If he can tolerate it, even simple passive range of motion exercises would be helpful. Finally, how is Harvey’s skin? Is he able to tolerate being turned. Does he require a specialty mattress to prevent skin breakdown?
Forgive me if I’ve overstepped my boundaries with my questions. Trust that my intentions are not to raise doubts about Harvey’s care, rather, I wish to be of some small assistance to both of you. You have helped me in so many ways to learn and cope with my own CLL.
Wishing you both all the best,
Steve Braun
Tucson, and a graduate of the University of Minnesota School of Nursing
You have both been a beacon of hope for CLL patients everywhere. When you get a chance to look at the number of hits to your website and this journal in particular, I know you will realize these are not random. Every hit represents a person who cares and is worrying for you both and has taken the time to check in on you, even if they don’t leave a comment letting you know.
Both of you took time to respond to my emails in those early weeks of my diagnosis, and I will never, ever forget that.
Mark Cornell
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dylan Thomas’ father had been a robust, militant man most of his life, and when in his eighties, he became blind and weak, Dylan was disturbed seeing his father become “soft” or “gentle.” In this poem, Thomas is rousing his father to continue being the fierce man he had previously been; to continue the fight. To not go gentle into That Good Night!
Somehow this seems appropriate for Harvey.
From Dylan Thomas
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Chaya,
I have just returned to find this news. I am heartsick. Please know you are not alone. Each of us who have posted are keeping you and PC close in thought and prayer. I can not imagine your exhaustion of body, mind and soul. PC is a fighter, talk to him, touch him, he knows you are there! You have supported and cared for so many of us in one way or another over the years, now it is your turn to be surrounded by our love. Hold on Chaya!
Wendy
Chaya, For some reason I couldn’t get to sleep last night and am still awake and have been sitting here at the computer reading your latest news and the heartfelt comments from all who admire and love you and PC. I wanted to write something powerful to comfort you as others have done, but feel I would be repeating what everyone else has already said. Reading what Dr.Brian, Jenny Lou and Nurse Steve said has given me hope and comfort concerning PC and you,and for myself as well.
Please know that I admire your ability to write so clearly about CLL that a layperson like myself can understand the many twists and turns it may take. I am in awe that you are able to sit down and communicate with us at this really scary time! Your loving devotion to PC is so obvious and your desire to keep us informed is remarkable. I am so glad you have your daughter and son-in-law nearby for the “physical” support that your CLL community would like to be able to give you. We are there in spirit for you and your family and send you loving,positive thoughts. Keep talking to PC and tell him we are all pulling for him. Please don’t feel alone, even in the middle of the night we are with you and hoping for the best.
Judy
Dear Chaya,
There is nothing I can say that hasn’t already been posted, so I will just add my prayers for both you and PC and hope that you know that if we could all link arms and hearts, there wouldn’t be enough room for all the love that the CLL community is sending your way. You have sent hope, love and prayers during our difficult times….we are now sending you all of ours. Stay strong and positive…you have, and always will be PC’s strength.
Tami
Dear Chaya,
Such a huge, wonderful bunch of good people are holding you in so many ways. It warms my heart to read all the responses and feel the love that’s pouring out for you, PC, and your daughter and son-in-law.
Many years ago when I was a student nurse, I spent some time with a woman who was awaiting a surgical procedure that was terrifying her. I met her after she had been premedicated and she seemed unresponsive. I held her hand and spoke a bit, and just stayed with her. Weeks later I received a note from her, expressing gratitude for the peace she had felt in those minutes. She really had been present in some way. I was amazed that she remembered my name and found those minutes helpful. So continue to touch and speak to PC; I know he’ll be comforted by your presence and words.
All my love to you and PC.
Sherry
Much love from England
Echoing the comments of everyone else. You and PC were such a comfort to me when I was newly diagnosed, steering me through choppy waters. I’m not really one to pray, but I promise my prayers are with you both now.
Remember, the darkest hour is just before dawn.
All my love
Sonia
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Keep up the Spirit!
Peace,
Rich
MY PRAYERS ARE WITH BOTH OF YOU.SCIENCE,FOR ALL ITS GREATNESS,IS STILL AN INFERIOR THING WHEN COMPARED TO THE POWER OF PRAYER. CONTINUE TO PRAY AND HOPE AND LEAVE THE REST TO THE GOOD LORD.SINCERELY SAL G
Gary Here, Aaron’s partner. It is 4am here in NZ. and I have been sitting here for 15 min not knowing what to write, what to say, what to pray…..so I closed my eyes….did this little meditation….and started breathing for PC. So, Chaya, just to let you know….that I’m going to continue offering my breathing for your little Buddha…and will continue to do so……for however long this takes.
HUGS
Gary
I continue to pray from Canada. You “took my hand” when I was first diagnosed, through your writings and even responding personally to my questions. As many others, I wish I could repay you and could guide you safely through this. There is a promise in the ancient Book of Isaiah: “Do not fear…When you pass through the waters, I will be with you…” God offers you His hand.
mh
Have a mental hug from me….sorry the road has been so bumpy. beckmark1 in minneapolis
Rest assurred PC knows and hears you at his side. He has gotten this far because of your love, care and support and by God carring him now. We will continue to pray for you both. Valerie
I just read your latest entry - it simply took my own breath away and brought tears to my eyes. I too have been sitting here for many minutes not knowing what to write or say. We are all offering the healing power of our communal breath to PC. He needs you to be strong, Chaya. Stay well. Namaste.
I have not checked my computer for several days and am devastated. I can not imagine wht you are both going through. Your courage and strength to update the CLL community despite all your are going through is simply amazing. I wish PC all the best.
After 45 comments, there’s not much to add. You’ve meant so much to all of us in the CLL world. We all hope and pray for the best for you and PC.
Jim in Minneapolis
Dear Chaya,
I am still heartsick at what has happened—-what a cruel twist of fate for you & P.C. who have done so much for all of us touched by CLL to have to undergo this crisis. We were hoping for a complete cure following an uneventful recovery, which would certainly be what you deserve—but the road isn’t always smooth and straight.
I have been checking this several times every day, and I don’t know why I didn’t get it until today—-but I too am encouraged by what Dr. Brian & Nurse Steve said. Keep the faith; as the old saying goes, “sometimes it’s darkest just before the dawn.”
Our prayers are with you—-
Marilyn & John
Dear Chaya,
Always on my mind. Wish I could do something to help you.
Hug.
Sandra
Dan and Cathy are thinking about you both. You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers!! You both have been an inspiration to us!!
Dear Chaya,
You and PC helped me get through the darkest hours of my initial diagnosis. Your wisdom and inspiration have kept me going.You both have done so much good for so many people- we are indeed a family, fighting this terrible disease.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your darling husband. Fight the good fight!
Chaya,
Keep whispering in PC’s ear. He will hear you. Take time to rest and regenerate your energy because PC will benefit from your renewed energy. It sounds as though some stabilization has been achieved, and this allows the body to start rebuilding. As another CLLer, I am thinking good thoughts for the both of you.
BarryB
Chaya I cannot imagine what you and your daughter are going through right now. I know my blood pressure has been sky high for a few days from the stress, so I cannot imagine how you and your family are doing. Keep talking to Harvey, I am sure he will hear you. Take care of yourself too.
Beth
Oh Chaya,
A truly heart-wrenching development. I have long ago come to accept a truth that life is often not fair despite our striving. Sometimes, as in this bad turn for you and Harvey, The unfairness is painfully cruel. We can only hope that as the night seems darkest just before dawn, that a dawn of restored health may yet come to Harvey to whom we all owe so much!
Love you both,
Wayne and Fay
Chaya
You and PC are in my thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.
with love
Michael
Chaya,
The sun never sets on the people praying for you and wishing you well.
Chaya,
We are so very sad, for your loss.
You and P.C. have been our role models.
P.C heard your every word.
We have spoken to hundreds of beings that died and were brought back to life.We also have gotten thousands of letters over the 35 years we did this work.
They all said they could hear their loved ones.
Hearing is the last sense door to close.
P.C. will always be in your cells and bones.
If you close your eyes you will always hear his kind voice.
he is a shining example to us all and so are you..
love and prayers
ondrea & stephen levine
Please,continue